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June 1, 2023

A Big Question: How Have I Loved?

Lama Surya Das, Dzogchen meditation master and one of Buddhism’s true pioneers in the West, will share with us the unique contribution of Buddhism to the evolution of love. Surya has often expressed the importance of asking probing and intelligent questions as necessary to spiritual unfolding. He says that if we want entrance into the Pearly Gates, a fundamental question that all seekers need to ask is: “How have I loved?” Learning how to love is the goal and the purpose of all spiritual life, even though it is expressed differently between traditions. Some of the ideas we will explore in this conversation is the difference between personal and impersonal love in spiritual practice, developing love for the master, for the teachings, and—maybe hardest of all—for the sangha of other practitioners. Join us for the conversation!

How have you loved?

Lama Surya Das is one of the foremost Western Buddhist meditation teachers and scholars. Surya Das teaches and lectures around the world, conducting dozens of meditation retreats and workshops each year. Based on his relationship with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Surya Das founded the Western Buddhist Teachers Network and has organized three week-long conferences of Western Buddhist Meditation Teachers with the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala, India.

Dr. Marc Gafni holds his doctorate from Oxford University. He is a rabbi and an iconoclastic teacher of Kabbalah and World Spirituality. He is the director with Ken Wilber, Sally Kempton and Diane Hamilton of the Integral Life Spiritual Center and core founder and faculty member of iEvolve: Global Practice Community. He has written seven books, including the national bestseller Soul Prints, and The Mystery of Love, an exploration of the relationship between the sexual, the erotic, and the sacred. Gafni is considered by many to be a visionary voice in the founding of a new World Spirituality.

Join us on the Future of Love Facebook Page


  1. The 4 Faces of Buddhist Love: 1. Equanimity 2. Compassion 3. Joy 4. Loving-Kindness – Lama Surya Das on the Future of Love dialogues.

  2. I’m having trouble finding the Future of Love discussion mentioned in my email reminder: “Join us on Facebook and engage our weekly discussion forum after each live call.” I went to Facebook but there were only the original 5 discussion topics from earlier this year. So I followed the “Continue today’s dialogue & share your perspective” link and ended up here at iEvolve.

  3. While listening to Surya Das this morning the question arose in me: How does love move the world? In other words: How do we carry out, or engage, this upper left (big I) perspective in, or with, lower right evolutionary systems (cultural, economic, political, technological, and environmental)? Yes, I need to become a clear vehicle. Yes, we need to create an inter-subjective opening (with trust, love, understanding, and compassion). But how do we co-operate creatively in “real world” problem solving (like making money, building a physical community, healing various physical and mental pathologies in ourselves and others, and changing our planetary red-blue-orange-green civilization’s course from it’s current suicidal-ecocidal trajectory)?

  4. Hi Dexter. Sorry you’re having issues with the comment login. We’ve tested it and found that tge auto login via Facebook, Twitter, and Disqus are all working fine. Feel free to send us a tech request through our contact page if you are having any more issues. Much thanks!


  1. iEvolve says:

    How have you loved? Join us before the Future of Love dialogues and share your ways of loving. #integral

  2. Marc Gafni says:

    How have you loved? Join today's Future of Love dialogues & share your thoughts #integral (via @iEvolve_GPC)

  3. iEvolve says:

    Continue today's dialogue & share your perspective here: How have I loved? #integral #love

  4. Marc Gafni says:

    Continue today's dialogue & share your perspective here: How have I loved? #integral #love (via @iEvolve_GPC)

  5. RT @MarcGafni: How have you loved? Join today's Future of Love dialogues & share your thoughts (via @iEvolve_GPC)

  6. Marc Gafni says:

    Please friends, students, and community members, let's answer this inquiry together…How Have I Loved? #love

  7. iEvolve says:

    RT @MarcGafni Please friends, students & community members, let's answer this inquiry together..How Have I Loved? #love

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